When supporting a loved one with an eating disorder, it’s important to understand what not to say, as well-meaning comments can unintentionally cause harm. Jokes or remarks that minimize the seriousness of the disorder—such as wishing you had an eating disorder to lose weight—can be deeply distressing and invalidate the individual’s experience. Attempts to force change or use guilt as motivation may come across as bullying and worsen the situation. Remedy Therapy Center offers family therapy as part of its treatment programs to help families learn how to communicate effectively, understand eating disorders through psychoeducation, and provide appropriate emotional support. These sessions address family dynamics, improve communication, and teach strategies for empathy, conflict resolution, and ongoing encouragement—ultimately helping families become a source of healing rather than added stress.
What Not to Say to Someone With an Eating Disorder
It can be incredibly challenging when someone you love struggles with an eating disorder. One of the most difficult things is figuring out what to say versus what not to say, especially when you are trying to encourage your loved one or friend to get help.
So, what should you avoid saying, and how can you help?
This looks different from one person to the next. If, for example, you know that your sister is struggling with an eating disorder or you are pretty sure she is, making a joke about wishing that you had an eating disorder so you could lose some of the post baby weight might seem like a way to bridge the topic but in reality you can cause a lot of distress.
Similarly, if your best friend is struggling with something like bulimia, trying to force them to change by saying you won’t eat healthy until they do can come off as bullying and make the distress even worse. If you are trying to figure out what not to say to someone with an eating disorder, especially someone in your family, one of the best resources is to educate yourself through family therapy.
Family-Based Therapy for Eating Disorders with Remedy Therapy Center
If you have a family member who is struggling with an eating disorder, it is important to learn what not to say to them and what to say to them to help encourage their recovery and long-term success.
At Remedy Therapy Center, we know that families need to learn about eating disorder treatment as much as their loved ones. That is why we incorporate family therapy into every program.
Our family therapy sessions help family members:
- Address relational dynamics
- Improve communication patterns
- Work on family systems issues
- Learn how to support someone with an eating disorder
The goal of our sessions is for families to understand where things like the existing family dynamics or communication methods may contribute to the development or maintenance of the eating disorder, and how to change that.
Psychoeducation for Families
One of the ways we support families is with our psychoeducation. This element helps family members understand the nature of an eating disorder, including symptoms, and what their loved ones should expect in treatment.
Providing this information helps remove stigma within the family unit, dispel myths related to eating disorders, and encourage empathy.
Communication Skills for Families
In family therapy, our skilled psychologists and team members can help families learn what not to say to someone with an eating disorder. Improving communication skills while also building conflict resolution strategies is the key to:
- Helping families express their concerns for one another
- Encouraging families to express their needs
- Discussing emotions
- Reducing misunderstandings
- Resolving conflicts
Our goal is to ensure that families can provide emotional support to the individual struggling with an eating disorder. Our skilled therapists provide a safe environment for families to express fears and feelings so as to build greater relationships with one another.
Find the Help You Need
If you are looking to say the right thing and avoid saying the wrong thing to someone you love, we can help. At Remedy Therapy Center, our team can help you start family therapy as part of a comprehensive treatment plan for your loved one, where you can better learn how to communicate and provide ongoing support in the right ways. Contact Remedy Therapy Center today to learn more about helping someone with an eating disorder.
FAQ
How Can I Help Someone with an Eating Disorder?
You can start by hoping to build their self-esteem, continually letting that person know how much you appreciate having them and what a good person they are, and in particular, that you are willing to support them no matter what. You may not yet be in a position to encourage them to get treatment, but you can let them know that you will love them and support them no matter what.
How Do I Include a Friend or Family Member if I Know They Have an Eating Disorder?
It can be very difficult to include friends and family in social situations if you know that they have an eating disorder. That said, though it might seem easier to just not invite them to things where food might be present or where they might behave in a way that you don’t like, such as excusing themselves to the bathroom for purging behaviors, it’s very important that you continue to support and invite someone you love to activities.
This will help them feel included and can be a good time to talk about overall health and how much you love and support them. But also be cognizant of whether those activities are centered around food, and if you can perhaps find other activities that might be a bit healthier.
Are There Things I Shouldn’t Say to Someone with an Eating Disorder?
Take time to be there for them, especially knowing that you don’t have all the answers and you don’t always have the perfect thing to say, but most of the time, just listening instead of giving advice or criticizing can be more important. Avoid making jokes about it or overly criticizing them, and do your best to provide love and support.
How Do I Make Someone Get Help for an Eating Disorder?
While you might mean well, there is no way to force someone you love or care about to get help for an eating disorder. However, the more you encourage them by building their self-esteem and letting them know how much you care and want to support their overall health, the more open they might be to listening to you or coming to you. If you have an eating disorder treatment center ready to recommend, it can make it easier if they come to you for help.